Breaking Up!
What do you do when an organisation breaks your heart?
In my personal sabbatical thus far, I’ve had the opportunity to chat and have coffee with a diverse range of people. I love (coffee) and chatting about people’s passion projects and what has led to ‘making the jump’ from corporate life to ‘something different’ – be it leveraging their side gig or discovering something new. For some we’ve talked about walking away from their ‘relationship’ with an organisation or their ‘career path’. AKA: The Great Break-Up! For some it was the slow realisation that their heart was no longer in it and needing a change. For others, the break-up was a painful and tumultuous event filled with loss, betrayal, and grief.
It is a long journey, from break up to healing and one blog post won’t solve it all. However, I’ve put some tips below and take this opportunity to remind you (as I have myself). That an organisation is not a person. It is a legal entity that exists to make money. It is not your friend, your family or your partner. It’s an organisation. Keep and protect your personal boundaries. Take your best self to work (keep your whole self for home please), do your job and do it well and then go the **** home and do something fun. If you are looking for unconditional love – buy a puppy.
Acknowledge your feelings: It's okay to feel hurt, disappointed, sad or even angry when an organisation lets you down. Acknowledge and accept your emotions rather than trying to ignore them. You need to sit with those feelings for a period to process them.
Take a step back: Give yourself time and space to process your emotions before taking any action. Avoid making impulsive decisions or reacting in the heat of the moment. BREATHE friend, BREATHE and if you need to cry. Let it out and let it go.
Seek resolution or make your peace: If there's a possibility of resolving the issue, explore potential solutions or compromises with the organisation. Be clear about what you need or expect from them moving forward. If you can’t make your peace with the organisation – make your peace with yourself. There are just some things we cannot fix. You have not failed - you've learnt something and chosen self-respect over escalation of commitment (also see sunk costs)
Exiting and communicating your concerns: If you do decide to leave, consider letting the organisation know of your disappointment and share your concerns constructively. Many organisations conduct exit interviews, consider if your feedback will be considered and/or useful. Close the door on this organisation and relationship respectfully and professionally. Their poor behaviour is on them – yours is on you.
Reflect on what you might learn from the experience: Consider whether your expectations were realistic and whether there were any warning signs or red flags that you may have overlooked or ignored. Reflecting on your experience can help you gain insights and perspective.
Seek support: Don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family members, or other trusted individuals including professionals, for support and perspective. Talking about your experience with others can help you process your feelings and gain new insights.
Focus on self-care: Take care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically during this challenging time. Engage in proactive activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and a sense of well-being.
Learn and grow: Use this experience as an opportunity for personal growth and learning. Consider what you can take away from the situation and how you can use it to inform your decisions and actions in the future.
Move forward: Once you've processed your emotions and taken any necessary steps, focus on moving forward with ‘pragmatic positivity and resilience’. Setbacks are inevitable and a natural part of life, and they can often lead to new opportunities and growth.
Remember an organisation exists to make money – it is NOT A PERSON. Whilst we can be aligned to the vision and purpose of an organisation, organisational culture and climate are very complex things and sometimes we are not a fit or simply outgrow a situation as we evolve. Maintain personal boundaries between home and work. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket and develop your interests outside of the workplace. Be a whole person and take time to enjoy life and have some fun. Work is not life.
Stay well friends and enjoy this journey we call life and thanks for reading.
XXOO
Kym
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